REALationships and Humility

I was given the opportunity, by the Universe, to experience and give unconditional love. Something that I have been wanting to experience. Something that I have never been able to give. I opened up my heart for the first time and I not only let my guard down, but I let go of the control that I always feel I must have.

I set aside preconceived notions, judgements and this shallow list of what I wanted. Although I was scared, I opened myself to the unknown. I allowed myself to feel vulnerable, to feel real, to feel what ultimately I felt: pain.

I sit and wonder why it was short lived? I wonder what I did wrong. I believe that when it comes to relationships it takes two to make it work. It takes two to make it fail. I forgot about the other half. I was so concerned with my mistakes that I overlooked the other half, but then I wonder if that is what unconditional love means. Does it mean that one does not look at the negative of the other person and not focus on what their mistakes were? Possibly.

I learned that I tend to push when things look or feel rough. Instead of trying to work through things, I just break away right away. I tend to not be patient and push to hear what is wrong and try to fix it right away. I tend to allow my fright come off as insecurity. The fear of losing what I have never felt before should have been voiced, but it wasn't and I learned that vulnerability equates to communication.

I learned that I need to forgive and be humble. I have learned to grieve. I have learned to allow myself to feel the pain and walk myself through it. I have finally learned to love.

I have learned that I am now ready to love, unconditionally, and that it is a beautiful thing. I learned that I can and will love someone with no conditions and that they can look like something I have never thought I would physically be attracted to.

I have learned that even though a relationship is fast and short lived, it still hurts and made me a human being for that time period and after.

I will be humble when the time is right. The Universe has a way of bringing people into our life for a reason and it also allows us to have full closure and other experiences with these same people. I will be humble.