a new beginning

My parents bought a gold medallion without realizing the meaning. I ended up with it and found that it fit me emotionally and mentally. It is of the phoenix rising. Recently I have embarked on a new beginning. I used to work in production for reality television. My last boss was so horrible that I ended up with a nervous break down. I allowed her to affect me emotionally like no one understood.

I went through a full year of depression. The only one that really understood was my sister. After much contact with her, I decided it was time for me to start school. In spring I will enter my third year of attending a full-time semester at a community college. The ultimate outcome: to be a Physician Assistant.

This decision has entailed many sacrifices from me. I have tried it before, and going to school and working is not for me. Six months ago I had to move in with my parents a pair of  strong Jehovah's Witnesses. This is a complete opposite of who I am, my beliefs and my ideals. I knew it would be a difficult thing to do, but it had to be done. I had no other choice. On three very different occasions my father has asked me the same question: how long is this going to take? This has not caused a motivation, but more of a distracting pressure; an unneeded stress. This last semester was very difficult for me. I embarked on my first science class, a class that is required to be a B grade or higher. Every time before an exam, my father and the requirement of the grade would pop in my head.

My first two semesters have been with no guidance. I just followed the prerequisites required from one school that has the program of my soon to be career. This Monday I went to apply for a program at my current school that would help me with book grants. It was mandatory to see a counselor which wasn't supposed to be formal, it was to make sure I was a full time student and to see if my registered classes were aligned with my major. I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, and this counselor I saw was no exception. She was very firm in letting me know that I have a chance to transfer to USC. When she first told me that I had a look of dumbfound and my jaw was literally on her desk. I told her about the time constraint I felt and she looked me in the eyes and said, "if you want to achieve the best and you have come to this point, just continue the struggle and don't let anyone get in the way." After much thought, this is why I have begun this blog. I am going to keep an open my mind on transferring and instead of settling for an Associate Degree, I am going to strive for that final one, Masters of Physician Assistant, from USC.

This blog will record this new journey.

On a personal note, I met a woman with Aspergers in September. She is very intelligent, but lacks social skills. I dated her and suddenly did not hear from her. I have text her and finally sent her an email, and have decided to let it be. Her issues are worst than mine and the only lesson I am left with is, no more. No more syndromes, no more special people, no more chances. That is all. I added her on here because the last time I spoke to her was on the third week of heading towards finals. I allowed her to enter my head and had problems studying for finals.She had entered my life without me really looking and she has left my life without a reason, explanation or anything that would even be close to "closure". Like I said, things happen for a reason...